Darkness settled over the midway. Maps used to say “There be dragons here”. Maps don’t say that now. But that doesn’t mean there are no dragons." - Lorne Malvo. Roadside Attraction had a visit from a dragon. It brought whiskey for kids and toxic ideas. We social distanced. We sought philosophical distance too. We considered distant learning and swapping in spooky distance and quantum masks instead of month after month of lockdown. When none of that seemed to work we sought shelters which soon caught fire, as variously reported herein.